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9/6/06 08:43 pm

Instructions:

1) List 20-ish things that you want to say to people, but never will.

2) Don't say who they are.

3) Never discuss it again.



1. You're fake, you treat the ones who actually care about you like shit, and then ones who treat like shit you bow down to them. You talk behind peoples' backs to make the person you are with happy, and then go to the person you talked crap about and act like their friend. You're the only person I can actually say I truely hate.

2. I just wish you around more and wish you accepted me for who i am.

3. Sometimes I don't know if I am as important to you as you say I am.

4. Why can't you be the way when I first met you? A leader, not a follower.

5. You made me self consicious and I'll never forgive you for that.

6. We were best friends since almost from the time we were born. We lost touch, and after about seven years we met back up again, and when we did, you spread lies about me which weren't true, i still wouldn't do that to you.

7. You've prevented me from following the life i want instead of helping me like you think you are.

8. I want to hang out with you and be the close friends that we have been, but when i do, it the same thing, ditching me like you have for the past two years.

9. I still don't know if my secrets are safe with you.

10. I think it's stupid that you left you're best friend just to have more "friends".

11. I consider us close, but it makes me sad that i hear your secrets from other people. I want you to be able to be comfortable coming to me and talking and knowing everything you tell me if safe with me.

12. I miss you and I'm sad you had to leave so soon. You were always the one I knew I could come to and sit on your lap and cry to or to laugh with. I knew that from the time I was born.

13. You're an asshole. I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't do anything to scare you away. The least you could do was talk to me.

14. I miss talking to you, and being able to tell you everything, but now you're off to start your life outside of high school, and i hope i'll be able to see you from time to time.

15. I miss having you next to me to where i could run to your window at anytime and I'd climb in and we would talk about our problems all night long.

16. I hate the way you call me dumb when i'm doing something weird, i hate the way you call me a dumbass when i state what i feel.

17. I hate the way you call me fat and ugly, It doesn't make me feel good.

18. I'm sorry I broke our promise, but what i have now is very very important to me and i don't want to lose what i have. You are important to me, but not like that.

19. When i say something I mean it.

20. i'm glad you told me, but i am pissed you had to do it on that day and after what went on that day, if you had any idea, you wouldn't want it to happen at that moment either.

21. I don't understand why you want to hang out with them so badly, but you won't even give me a call to see how I am doing and catch up.

22. I think you are stupid for continuing to do something that hurt you so badly.

23. You have/ had so much going for you, but you are literally fucking it up. You take everything you have for granted, but I'm waiting for the day when you have nothing left and you actually have to experience what life really is.

24. You were so innocent when i met you, and now you've turned your life around for the worst, you let the pressure cave you in, and if you really knew what people who used to care about you say, maybe you'd see it's not worth it.

25. You spend so much time helping me start pursuing my goals and my dreams, but when is the last time you sat and thought about what you really want to do?

6/26/06 11:26 am

hey there people.
well i havent updated this in quite some time.
but right now i am at joshs chillen from being woken up by the beautiful sun. haha. anyways its summer time and its going pretty good. ive been quite busy hanging out with people and its been fun. although i dont think its been that exciting. i want to do so many things right now but i know i want to keep some things for the rest of summer/the few months ahead. i want to go to seattle for the night, i want to go to california to visit my family and hit up disneyland, i want to see suburban legends, i want to go to some blane and danger radio shows, i want to get a tan haha, i want to go get some dicks and ah i dont even know. hopefully i can do most of these during the summer. but im not going to plan anything because well thats not what summer is about. but its lame though because its about the time i have to get a damn job which i dont want to do but i need some money to save up for a car or a new clutch for my truck. but I DUNNO. haha. anyways other than that life is going great. james is amazing but when isnt he? hah. <3. we've hung out a lot so far this summer and he wants to spend some more time doing things outside of me so i dont really know what he is doing. i didnt talk to him at all last night or this morning. but im sure i will talk to him sometime today. Anyways i agree with where he is coming from. I as well would like to do some other things aside from him but i mean as well as my boyfriend he is also one of my best friends. i can talk to him about anything and hanging out with him is one of my favorite things to do. we always have fun, no matter if its laying down watching tv or listening to music or if its running around/driving around till we go crazy. i love it. but i dont know. lately too i've been worrying about wanting to know if there will be the day when we end. i dont want it to come but i know there is a chance that it will, most likely a larger chance then it not. this is the first time i've ever worried about this. maybe its because its the first time i've ever been truely been happy in a relationship. i dont know. i'm just gonna live it each day. i guess im just having a hard time believeing that a high school relationship IS what people consider a high school relationship. one that barely ever goes past high school, barely ever last and its one where you can move on a few days later. i think a relationship is a relationship, its no different then one outside of high school, its just a mindset that people have that make them act like there is a difference between in high school and out of high school relationships. Love can be the same for people not matter what age you are. You hear the stories where people have been in love since 6th or 7th grade, but you also here the stories where people fall in love at nearly 50 years old. ah i dont even know where i am going with this. i'm done. but what i can tell you is that i love james, i don't think our relationship is like any other typical high school relationship. we are together emotionally and physically. not just one or the other. james, i love you. these almost six months has been more then i could ever ask for. you're my everything. and i hope we are together for many more months to come.

I'm out.
<3 Laura

5/1/06 07:45 pm

so everything in life is good.
best friend=amazing.
boyfriend=amazing.
friends=amazing.
life=amazing.

4/17/06 03:10 pm

blah. okay. so lately things have been good. but at the same time really lame. like yeah i am in a good mood. but it feels like theres so many reasons right now that i shouldnt be. i feel like everyone is just against everyone. they waste too much time finding the flaws in people and not spending enough time trying to find the best in people. and they also need to realize that those flaws people have are also what makes the person in connection to the good sides of people, or otherwise if those faults werent there they wouldnt be who they are. so if they cant accept who the person is then they shouldnt be friends with them. but if people act to be there friend and then go behind their backs and make the person seem like someone they are not or a bad person or just talk crap in general then that pisses me off. im not saying that everyone does this. but it seems to me like a lot of people do.
also people have their habits, whether it's biting their nails, or smoking, drinking, sleeping a certain way, talking a certain way, playing a game and people stereotype people by their habits if they don't have that in common with the person. You don't see someone who smokes dislike someone else if they smoke, but you see someone who doesn't smoke not like a person if they do. People should realize that the habits other people have won't change the person, they would still have the same personality and still be who they are. ah i don't know if i am making sense but i can never explain things talking either so i am trying my best on here. but anyways. what i guess i am trying to say is if you don't like a person because of habits or flaws that they may have, try to find the better in people, don't let their imperfections overpower their good points. If people did this I think there would be so much less stress on people to have to worry about what people think of them, a lot less argueing, you would have a better chance of keeping close tight-knit friends and it would make life simplier. but i don't know its just a thought.

im out.

-Laura

4/15/06 08:25 pm

power rangers is on.
basically my life is complete.
but um well basically life is pretty good.
friends.boyfriend.power rangers.more friends.making fun of high people.frosties.qfc.late nights.
ah man.
i love it.
hows everyone else's break?
<3

3/23/06 07:15 pm

p.s- james says banana.

3/23/06 07:06 pm

hola. so i thought i would update this while i wait for some rad video to upload. but yeah. nothing new really. Everything is going pretty great. school. boy. best friend. life. Yes there is still some here and there little problems but i'm working on not letting them get the best of me and it's working. I think if i started thinking this way earlier things could have been better. but it doesn't matter because all those things are in the past. I'm also working on not hating as many people. I'm going to find a reason to hate people if i do.  So i'm working on that. and hm. I just think Friday is going to probably be one of the best nights of my life if everything works out according to plan. First of all, would be Fall of troy at El Corazon, then off to the pink floyd laser show and then to just run around till we are blue in the face. I'm going with james, steven and jessica. and if everything works out. it will be undescribable how amazing it would be.  but anyways.
but yeah theres nothing else really new.
so i will update this later since james is calling moi.
hah
i love you james and everyone else!
Laura

3/11/06 04:05 pm

wow so i havent updated this is a few days.
so but nothing really lately has changed.
me and james have been going out for two months now.
it seems like a lot longer but yeah
me and jessica have hit another rough time
and we kinda arent talking at the moment
but i really hope that subsides
anyways thursday was johns birthday
and it was me james john aaron dannAn and josh
and they had some "stuff"
and well that went down
and then we went to the movie room
and even though i felt sick to my stomach it was still fun
josh breaking into cars...not on purpose
james building a pillow pyramid
aaron rapping
dannAn being tackled
john thinking he was seeing himself in third person

haha
omg i love these people so much
haha

well yeah
thats about it.
♥ Laura

3/5/06 10:23 am

god i love him so much.


badabowwow.

walks home.

talks.

cuddling.

him.



i couldn't ask for anyone else.
<3.

2/25/06 08:29 pm

i really wish i was at fucking blane right now.
what the fuck man.
seriously
im going to shoot myself.
gdfjglkjfdgdf
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